How Men Can Help During The Menopause

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A helpful guide: real menopause knowledge explained in a nutshell. Here you can find out the best way to help your loved one and how to get through this difficult period together.

Table of contents

What's going on?

Tantrums, misunderstandings, hypersensitivity - do all these symptoms sound familiar? Not to you, but to your wife? Then there's no need to worry - it will go away, it's just a matter of time! Your wife is probably going through the menopause. Of course, it's impossible to say whether she's still at the beginning or will soon be through it. But to help you still enjoy your time together as a couple and not clash repeatedly, here is some valuable information and tips for you.

What's wrong with my wife?

Do you feel helpless? Would you like to support your partner, but don't know how? The menopause is often scary for men too. You see how your wife doesn't always react in a rational, understandable way. Does she sometimes seem like a stranger to you, even though you've been going through life together for many years? It's nothing unusual for there to be differences of opinion, but thanks to hormonal fluctuations, this is now particularly common.

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A brief overview: From your late 30s/early 40s, your female hormones change. The egg cell supply decreases and hormone production in the ovaries declines. This marks the beginning of the early phase of the menopause, also known as the perimenopause. Hormones fluctuate particularly during this time. It is somewhat similar to puberty. This phase then ends years later with the actual menopause, when periods stop altogether.

Some women go through this period without any problems. For others, it can be a real struggle that lasts for years. Now you think that's it? Not quite, because after that there's the postmenopause. This is the time when your wife finds her "new self". It's actually a pleasant phase in which all the dust usually settles, but the side effects of old age can also occur.

Welcome to menopause

The first hormone to drop is progesterone, which can trigger sleep problems. This makes her tired and easily irritable. In addition, a progesterone deficiency can cause anxiety, mood swings and stress. The symptoms often intensify shortly before the period, also known as PMS. These are usually accompanied by heavier bleeding, cramps, migraines and bloating. In addition, her oestrogen levels fluctuate, which can affect the neurotransmitters in the brain.

As a result, your wife may be more irritable, emotional and sometimes just angry at the whole world. Don't take it personally, she can't help it and most importantly, she doesn't mean it.

You, as her partner, are unfortunately the first one in her line of fire. Try to be patient and listen to her. Encourage her to talk about how and why she feels this way. Ask if there is anything specific you can do for her. Take her seriously in every situation and never dismiss it as "women problems".

Changing the sheets after night sweats

Your wife's fluctuating oestrogen levels can upset the body's heat regulator, resulting in hot flushes during the day and sweating at night. For the engineers and hobbyists among you: Your thermostat is temporarily broken.

Waking up drenched in sweat is not only terrible for them, but often for both of you. There are a few tips on sleep hygiene that can help. These include a cool bedroom and special bedding. Maybe get two blankets of different thicknesses. Stress and alcohol can also make night sweats worse.

Sex life: Where has the libido gone?

It's not you, at least that's not the starting point. But it's not directly her either. The hormonal changes your sweetheart is going through are really physically exhausting. That's why she just wants to sleep at night. Low oestrogen and testosterone levels can reduce her sex drive and sometimes vaginal dryness can make sex painful for her. Talk about it together, use aids, prolong foreplay and be more romantic. Be more patient, cuddle a lot, be understanding instead of pressuring and make sure you reassure her that she is still attractive and beautiful!

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Fear and anxiety dominate everyday life

Imagine you have lost your male identity. You feel uncomfortable in your own body. You actually hate the person you're turning into - but you just can't do anything about it. Wouldn't that make you nervous too? Your wife is probably irritated herself and worried that this strange new feeling inside her will go on forever. These diffuse fears are a common side effect of the menopause.

Tip: Be understanding, reassure her and encourage her to talk about what is bothering her. Make sure she does something every day to cope with stress, such as exercise and time for herself. A piece of dark chocolate with a cocoa content of over 70 percent will also improve her mood and help reduce stress. A tin of XbyX Ganz Gelassen is also always a good idea.

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Can men also go through the menopause?

If you're wondering whether all of this is still coming your way, there's a very clear answer: no.

Men naturally have a better balance between oestrogen, testosterone and progesterone and are not as dependent on oestrogen as women. Men do go through the so-called andropause, but the changes are much milder and only occur later in life. This is mainly due to the fact that oestrogen levels in men do not fall. It is low right from the start and remains at this level. Would you like to find out more about this topic? Then be sure to read our article "Do men also go through the menopause?"


Men may be able to help partner’s menopausal transition, Physicians Weekly